Spring Break

So I'm not entirely sure where we left off last time, but I must say I really don't care. I can update you all on what's going on in my life, all the romance, drama, beauty and pain later on. For now, I have actually found paradise. It's such a strange thing that I've found this place after having had a friend from here for so long, but I really love this place. I've never felt like I belonged to a place like this before. Even in Cleveland, where I feel very much more at home than I do in my hometown, it's still not quite like Portland. Yes, I'm in Oregon. I'm here because a friend of mine, Elaine, whom I've known via the internet for about six or seven years now, is getting married. I flew up here for my Spring break, and I fell in love ever since I saw the view from the airplane. Seeing the rugged Rockies as we began our descent, and then seeing the flush greenery pop out of seemingly nowhere was a little bit breathtaking. Then as we were landing, the sun was shining beautifully on the river. Once we were on the ground, driving around I wasn't disappointed either. The trees and the greenery were so lovely. Nature has such soft color here. It's gorgeous. I also really love the gentleness of the sky, especially at sunset. I can't help myself. I wish I could just share this beauty with all of my friends and loved ones, and I like to believe that one day I'll be able to take my family here, whatever that may mean at the time.

It's been a very relaxing vacation thus far. I've been very well taken care of by Elaine and her family, and it's just been a great time to get the painful things off my mind and to concentrate on those things that I think are good. I can worry and stress out over stuff after the break is over. Right now, I laugh at my problems and stare at them. They're 2500 miles away right now. They look so small and vain. When I get back home, I'll probably have a heart full of pain and agony, but for now, I'm very happy to concentrate on the fact that I'm far away and just enjoying this week. It's not something I've had the luxury to do in such a long time, I'd forgotten what it was like. I'm away from everyone and everything I know. I'd never even met Elaine in person till yesterday, so I'm completely separated from any connection to pain and misery. There are no negative feelings in this place, and it's so very refreshing.

It's also giving me a great opportunity to concentrate on what it is I'm feeling for "blue eyes" as I referred to him in my last entry, I believe. Not only can I get my feelings in check, but I can also be able to figure out how best to proceed.

He called me "Miss Independent" the other day. I'd never thought of what I'm doing, this trip to the other side of the nation, away from all things I know, as me being independent. All I thought was that I wanted to be there for my friend at this wonderful time of her life. I wasn't even thinking of myself, except that I wanted to see her. But how many people my age, even sighted people, would be willing to take that kind of risk? Of course Elaine and I have been friends, as I said for something like six and a half years now, but I guess it is brave, and maybe a little crazy of me to take this kind of enormous leap of faith. It only occurred to me on my layover b/w flights that I was actually doing something crazy and risky. But I'm really happy I took this risk. I'm very happy I got to see this beautiful place I'd fall in love with. If I could never leave, I might not. I'd want to drag my friends and family here of course, but I can actually see myself living here. As I look into my future, I can see myself actually wanting to move here. Not just visit, but move here and take my family with me.

So....what surprises me the most about Oregon? It doesn't get nearly as cold as I would have expected. In fact, it's only marginally colder here than it was in Tennessee when I left. Just need to wear a light jacket to stay warm. Sure, Tennessee was in the 60s yesterday, but who cares? I'd rather it didn't get too hot in March, anyway. :P

There's only one thing I wish I could do differently.... I wish I could share this place with my blue-eyed sunflower."There's a warm wind blowing the stars around, and I'd really love to see you tonight."

Cissy